Question by Willy S: Why a Bottle is Better than a Woman by WILLY 1/22/06 3:30 PM (Part 2 of 2)?
I posted this before but there are lots of new people here this is for them! It was inspired by “Why a Bottle of Wine is Better than a Man (Part 1 of 2)” which I got in a joke list — which was also on several other joke sites & lists! Enjoy!
* A bottle will never nag you to keep the freaking toilet seat down!
* Depending on your choice a bottle can keep you warm or cool you off!
* A bottle will never tell you, “The last guy drank me straight, no chaser,” or on the rocks w/e!
* You can own as many bottles as YOU want, they don’t get jealous!
* You can try as many other bottles, as your stomach can take, your bottle will wait for you!
* An older bottle doesn’t need Victoria Secret’s lingerie to make you drink from it! In fact older bottles 9 times out of 10 are better!
* A bottle won’t monopolize the telephone and always be on it when you try to call!
* A bottle won’t keep after you to get it breast implants!
* A bottle will never crowd your stuff out and fill the medicine cabinet with unknown ‘beauty’ products!
* A bottle won’t tell you, “My father always did it this way!”
* Size doesn’t matter to a bottle!
* A bottle will go home with you even if you are uglier than sin!
* A bottle will not care how many other bottles you’ve drunk from!
* A bottle has many ‘pick up lines’ but you must get to the bottom first!
* After drinking from a bottle you can become a one-man band, great on guitar or a singer!
* Your disappointing appearance, at the bar, you can blame on a bottle!
* Or if you have the dinero, to lubricate the crowd, buy them all a bottle! Caution some times, one or more, of them may think they’re better than you, do NOT give them a chance!
* Confidence lessons? Not needed; a bottle will convince you; you are better than Mickey Mantle, Roger Staubach and Willis Reed!
* The way the game turns out, your team losing, is the fault of a bottle!
* A bottle, to many men, is very necessary to even talk to a woman!
* The hotter, sexier and better looking a chick is you need more of the bottle!
* The ugly girl you wake up beside can always be blamed on the bottle!
* The fact that you woke up alone, again, can also be blamed on a bottle!
* A bottle doesn’t need to be told, it looks good, dinner was great, or she’s the ONLY one for you!
* A bottle will never tell you how to drive or do anything else!
* Any mistakes you make can be blamed on a bottle!
* A bottle won’t care if you are rich or poor, as long as you get it home you’re alright!
* Bottles don’t care that you’re still listening to Bobby Darin, Frank Sinatra, or Patty Paige!
* A bottle won’t tell anybody about your secret crush on Dolly Parton’s Boobs!
* A bottle will never divulge the porn sites you visit, where your old Playboy’s or video’s are hidden, and it won’t tell that the ‘Penis Enlargement Pills’ failed to work!
* A bottle won’t discriminate against you because you’re black, white, yellow, green or w/e!
* A bottle could care less if you’re Catholic, Protestant, Baptist, Jewish, Agnostic or still wondering!
* A bottle will never tell you to, “STOP PLAYING THAT GODDAMN SONG!”
* A bottle will never say, “No,” to anything!
And lastly there is this;
* A bottle will never ask, “Does my butt look fat in this paper bag?”
http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/
From: WILLYS JOKES 4/25/06 WHY A BOTTLE IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN by WILLY
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Answer by 2sassy4u
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December 17, 2010 | Posted by admin 
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Tags: change, last, tuck, turned, woman, year | 
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